JONAH AFTER THE WHALE
“YO. GET YOURSELF TO NEW YORK. YOU NEED TO BE IN THE STREETS YELLING 'REPENT'.”
Would you have obeyed? Here's what God really said to Jonah: “ARISE, GO TO NINEVEH, THAT GREAT CITY, AND PROCLAIM AGAINST IT, FOR THEIR WICKEDNESS IS COME UP BEFORE ME.”
Nineveh was the New York City of its day. NYC is on the Hudson; Nineveh, capital of the Assyrian Empire, was on the Tigris. It was the most sophisticated city of its time. No wonder Jonah hopped the next boat going the other way. Then came the storm at sea, Jonah went overboard, the whale swallowed him ... yada yada yada.
The Book of Jonah is only two pages long. The whale spit up Jonah onto dry land at the end of Page One. Everybody stops there. Why? Even better is Page Two.
So: here we are on Page Two of the Book of Jonah. Here's Jonah on dry land, there's the whale swimming away, and there's God tapping His ineffable foot. And God quoth unto Jonah, "NINEVEH IS THAT-A-WAY."
“YO. GET YOURSELF TO NEW YORK. YOU NEED TO BE IN THE STREETS YELLING 'REPENT'.”
Would you have obeyed? Here's what God really said to Jonah: “ARISE, GO TO NINEVEH, THAT GREAT CITY, AND PROCLAIM AGAINST IT, FOR THEIR WICKEDNESS IS COME UP BEFORE ME.”
Nineveh was the New York City of its day. NYC is on the Hudson; Nineveh, capital of the Assyrian Empire, was on the Tigris. It was the most sophisticated city of its time. No wonder Jonah hopped the next boat going the other way. Then came the storm at sea, Jonah went overboard, the whale swallowed him ... yada yada yada.
The Book of Jonah is only two pages long. The whale spit up Jonah onto dry land at the end of Page One. Everybody stops there. Why? Even better is Page Two.
So: here we are on Page Two of the Book of Jonah. Here's Jonah on dry land, there's the whale swimming away, and there's God tapping His ineffable foot. And God quoth unto Jonah, "NINEVEH IS THAT-A-WAY."
This time Jonah goes to Nineveh, that exceedingly great city of three days’ journey across. He treads one day’s journey into it proclaiming, "Repent! Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!"
As he treads along, Jonah wonders who's living in his condo, who's driving his donkey, and whether a certain female had any right to be so grumpy about the whole thing.
At this point, Jonah has got one thing left, and one only. It's this: he is right. He may look like a fool now, but they'll rue the day they laughed at him. God will destroy the city. Then they'll remember Jonah proclaiming, "Repent!”. Then they'll wish they had listened to him. Jonah will be vindicated.
As he treads along, Jonah wonders who's living in his condo, who's driving his donkey, and whether a certain female had any right to be so grumpy about the whole thing.
At this point, Jonah has got one thing left, and one only. It's this: he is right. He may look like a fool now, but they'll rue the day they laughed at him. God will destroy the city. Then they'll remember Jonah proclaiming, "Repent!”. Then they'll wish they had listened to him. Jonah will be vindicated.
Surprise. Nineveh repents. All of it - the king, the people, the beasts, the herds, and the flocks. Here comes the big moment: God changes His mind. And Jonah blows his stack. "Whaddya mean, You're not destroying the city?"
"I CHANGED MY MIND."
"I knew it! I told You back home that You’d be merciful - why’d You mess me up like this? I wish I was dead. Strike me dead now!"
"ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?"
Jonah stomps off into the desert and sits where he can see Nineveh. He's waiting out the forty days. God's cool. He causes a gourd to flourish. The next day Jonah sits in its shade and sulks. Then God causes a worm to smite the gourd, so it withers overnight. Jonah can't take the heat. "I wish I was dead!" he wails. "Strike me dead now!"
"BECAUSE I ALLOWED THE DEATH OF ONE PLANT, JONAH? HOW ABOUT 120,000 PEOPLE, NOT TO MENTION THEIR BEASTS? GET IT?"
The Book of Jonah doesn't say if Jonah got it. Maybe what matters is whether we do.
"I CHANGED MY MIND."
"I knew it! I told You back home that You’d be merciful - why’d You mess me up like this? I wish I was dead. Strike me dead now!"
"ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?"
Jonah stomps off into the desert and sits where he can see Nineveh. He's waiting out the forty days. God's cool. He causes a gourd to flourish. The next day Jonah sits in its shade and sulks. Then God causes a worm to smite the gourd, so it withers overnight. Jonah can't take the heat. "I wish I was dead!" he wails. "Strike me dead now!"
"BECAUSE I ALLOWED THE DEATH OF ONE PLANT, JONAH? HOW ABOUT 120,000 PEOPLE, NOT TO MENTION THEIR BEASTS? GET IT?"
The Book of Jonah doesn't say if Jonah got it. Maybe what matters is whether we do.
© Chris McDonough 2011